more important than sunscreen

One of my closest friends is expecting her first child soon and she and I got on the topic of baby advice the other night. You know, questions ranging from deciphering Babies-R-Us, car seats and nursing bras to getting through labor and delivery. I find that more people ask me for mama advice now, friends and strangers alike. Some woman in Stride Rite last week considered me an expert on kids' shoes, I suppose from the serious examination I gave a couple of tiny sneakers. Ironic, because at that moment, my kids weren't with me and they were probably bare foot, as we all prefer to be in the warm months. And truly, I know nothing about kids' shoes.

Does having three kids put you on the varsity parent team? I don't know... I kind of think you qualify for full-fledged parent benefits when you're pregnant for the very first time. I also know I have mom heroes who mother one child and others who mother five.

Either way, the conversation has me thinking about what my most important piece of mama advice is. While I could give you book recommendations, stroller tips and baby proof your house, when it comes down to it, none of those details really matter. Every family is unique, so what works great for me, may not be a good solution for you.

But what every one of my mom heroes, and practically every veteran parent, has told me is to enjoy the moment. And that is the truth. The days (and nights) may be long, but the weeks, months and years fly by. As parents, we are given this precious window of time with young children as a gift. They see the world with innocence, freshness and optimism. They look to their loved ones to navigate life's questions and find their place in a big, busy and sometimes confusing world. They invite us to slow down and experience it all over again.

I am the most popular person in my house right now. My life is busy. I am constantly wiping faces, wiping butts, making snacks, cleaning snacks off the floor, kissing boo boos, negotiating fair toy sharing, nursing, washing clothes, cleaning the pee off the toilet seat, grocery/clothes/target shopping. I hear "Mama!!" a thousand times a day. Typical of most parents, especially those of the stay-at-home variety. Like other normal people, I get frustrated and tired. I lose my patience. Sometimes I want to quit. But, most of the time, I'm thriving. I know I'm not always going to be most popular. I know someday I'll be least popular. So I try to savor these precious, precious times. I take a lot of photos, I hug and kiss my family as much as they'll let me and I accept the rhythm of the repetitive, monotonous tasks of running a family as the work that allows me a front row seat watching three unique individuals discover life's beauty.

Trust me, I do not have it all figured out and just try to take things day by day. But, from what I've experienced, my best piece of advice to my friend is: Allow your babies to give you the gift of truly living in the moment. While your house may never be "just so", you may have a perpetually unfolded laundry pile, and you may miss the luxury of regular leisurely dinners, those things will eventually come back (right?!), but your babies will keep growing and growing. Right now, parenting little kids will make you feel like you're alive in a way that you haven't felt before. You'll notice the details and wonder of life.

And, you'll realize that you can love more intensely than you ever thought.

In the end, I'm hoping I forget how much thought and research I put into buying our kids' shoes or stroller. But, the soft sigh as a baby falls asleep in my arms, the intense look of pride and surprise when a toddler poops in the potty for the first time and the wonder apparent when a child unlocks the magic of reading: Those are the moments I'm living and trying to actively remember because those are the memories I plan to hold on to for the rest of my life.